Saturday, December 2, 2023
I just had my daily yen (cold) americano mai wan (no sugar) and I am sitting in my room. I get a Line message from Sydney and Elizabeth asking if I want to make som tam (papaya salad) at one of their coworker’s houses and that they will pick me up. Obvious yes.
As the car arrives, I see Sydney, Elizabeth, and three women - Lake (Thai teacher who speaks English), Joy (Thai teacher who speaks English), and Joy’s niece (who doesn't speak English).
We drive through town and then turn onto some back roads a little off the beaten path.
We get to the house, and it happens to be on the bank of the Bang Pakong river that flows through town. There is also a large pond to the left of the house that is big enough to make it feel like you are on an island if you position yourself correctly. The house is essentially surrounded by water on 2/4 sides.
As we approach the house, we are greeted by several people - Joy’s mother and father, two of Joy’s sisters and one of their husbands, and two of Joy’s nephews.
While I thought we were just going to be making som tam, I soon learn that we will be having a huge Thai feast fit for a small army. The entire trunk of the car is full of pork, chicken, fruit, vegetables, snacks, desserts, and drinks. They seemed to have raided the entire market.
A blanket is spread out on the porch where we will sit and make the dish.
To make som tam, you add an ingredient to the mortar and pestle, mix it up, and repeat until everything is added and mixed.
The salad is full of fresh, raw vegetables and hits the spicy, salty, savory, and acidic notes in just the right ways.
While half of us were sitting in a circle making som tam, the rest were chilling by the charcoal grill working on the meats.
It is a calm, peaceful, and loving environment - three generations of a family hanging out and making food, their friend Lake, and us. The sun is shining, the palm tree leaves are rustling in the wind, the water is glistening, the food is to die for, and most importantly, everybody is completely present.
Since this is happening just after Thanksgiving, Elizabeth told me she found it very comforting to be hanging out with a family since she can not hang out with her own.
This comment struck me.
I realized it was the first time that I, and most likely my fellow American teachers too, would be spending all of the holidays away from family and friends and on the other side of the world.
It did not matter how much any of us missed our families or how much traffic there would be to get to the meal; no matter what, we would all be spending Thanksgiving 2023 in Thailand.
After thinking about this some more, I landed on gratitude.
Human beings are extremely good at getting used to the way things are, believing that they will always be this way, and thus taking them for granted.
Whether it’s big things like being able to see family and friends whenever you want and having food in the fridge or things that are less thought about like having a comfortable bed, hot water, or even a chair (yes, a chair), we are all guilty of going through our lives (myself included) without thinking about how fortunate we are to have these things in our lives.
While it is obviously nice to live a comfortable life, I think everyone can benefit from removing some of these daily comforts from time to time in order to create some more gratitude in their life.
While I’m obviously not saying that everyone should move across the world in order to be more grateful for their family, there are many things that you can do on a daily basis to strengthen your gratitude muscles.
Here’s a quick story.
During my stay in Ann Arbor at Noah and Noah’s place a few months ago (which I don’t think Steven will ever forgive me for), my air mattress broke. This resulted in me sleeping on the floor on top of the deflated mattress for three nights. The floor was very hard (I never realized how bad floors actually are for sleeping) and very uncomfortable.
Then, the morning after the third night of sleeping on the floor, Bobby gave me his air mattress to use that night.
When I woke up the following morning, I discovered that I had an entirely newfound appreciation for mattresses, and a new thought occurred to me: I have been taking mattresses for granted.
Actually, I have been taking almost everything for granted.
Before this, when was the last time that I had to sleep on something that was very uncomfortable? It has to be a while.
In fact, it had never even crossed my mind that I won’t have a soft bed to sleep on - why wouldn’t I have a soft bed? Why wouldn’t any of us have a soft bed?
While those three nights were indeed uncomfortable, it was after the fourth night on Bobby’s mattress that I realized that sleeping on the floor didn’t kill me and that it taught me a great lesson.
It sounds funny, but it’s true.
I now find myself trying to find things in my everyday life that provide happiness or value to me but that I never think about. I’ve landed on hot water, chairs, and pillows to name a few.
While I don’t think everyone should sleep on the floor for three nights, I guarantee that if you do, you will find a newfound love for your comfy bed on the fourth night.
With that said, I propose a challenge:
Find something that you use every day that you take for granted.
Remove that thing for three days.
Add it back.
Let me know how it goes.
Now, here are some more Thailand pics.
Wow! Ben you should start a blog when you return. Beautiful English and an endearing message! Maybe I am grateful for nicotine... 3 day break incoming 🤪. Excited for the next post and eat some Khao Soi for me! Have a lovely holiday season we miss you dearly.
Hey Ben, what w beautiful experience and thoughts. I try to practice being present throughout my day and part of that is being grateful. I often get sidetracked from being present by today's need to have cell phones and the way they take me out of the moment I'm in, so I actually have a dislike for them at times, mostly for my own tendencies to ”overuse" them. Your thoughts made me apply gratitude for my phone, which I usually am NOT grateful for. I usually see my phone as a nuisance or a trigger for some unwanted thought or behavior. Well....I broke my phone and haven't had it the last three days...and your thoughts helped me turn a feeling of annoyance and partial disdain into gratefulness. Because I often overlook all the things I am grateful for about having a cell phone....until it's gone lol. Thanks Ben!